Whoops, forgot to update the comments. But you know what I was trying to do here :)

Good job on the chaining! Love it :)

This is actually a very nice solution! Not the best practices, but realy nice!

This is a Java developer right here. Thanks for the laughs :)

I like how it's easy to read, and that the strings are separate from the logic. One suggestion: I would use an array instead of an object here.