How is that a kata issue? You have a list of valid eyes, noses and mouths, and some examples of valid and invalid smilies. Create the combinations of valid parts yourself, and those will be the full list of possible valid smilies. For testing your regular expression, use regex101.com

How can I understand which pattern is superfluous in my expression and which one is missing?

Your solution fails for following teest case: assert.equal(countSmileys([':---)','))',';~~D',';D']), 1);. There's only one valid smiley in this set, but your solution finds three.

Not a kata issue, your solution has a bug.